Divorcing someone who has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is usually a good idea. After all, once you realize that your spouse does not have empathy for you or others and is a master manipulator, it can be difficult to imagine a happy future with them. While divorcing a narcissist may be wise, it can also be more difficult than marrying someone who does not have a serious personality disorder. The traits that make your ex difficult to stay married to can also cause divorce complications. Here are a few tips for getting through this complex situation:
Hire the Best Lawyer You Can Afford
Narcissists fear losing control, so a drastic life event like a divorce is likely to trigger their worst personality traits and responses. This is unlikely to be an easy divorce that can be resolved peacefully with mediation. For this reason, you should hire the most qualified and experienced divorce lawyer you can. Your attorney should be able and willing to do all of your negotiation on your behalf, limiting the need for contact between you and your ex. Ideally, your attorney will be familiar with narcissism and its basic traits.
Set Strong Boundaries
As your ex realizes they are losing control over your life, they may respond by becoming combative, confrontational, and intrusive. It is important to set clear boundaries and not waiver. Examples of boundaries may be only speaking through your attorney, or only communicating via email so that you have a record of everything. Another example of a boundary is to have it written into your custody agreement that neither of you are allowed to disparage each other to your kids, and then making a record of every incident where your ex violates this agreement.
Seek Therapy
Spending years of your life with a narcissist can be maddening and have a severe negative effect on your self-esteem. You will need to feel as emotionally strong as possible during and after your divorce, and a therapist can help you get there. Your therapist will help you examine and heal from any trauma that occurred during your marriage. They will also help you look at any dysfunctional relationship patterns you exhibit so that in the future you won't overlook red flags and will only date partners who are kind and respectful.
Working with an experienced divorce lawyer and following these tips will ensure your finances, legal rights, and emotional health remain protected during your divorce. Contact a law office like Finocchio & English for more information and assistance.
