Santa has a big job, and there are many hazards that come from his generous all-nighter once a year. However, if Santa were the type to file lawsuits, he certainly would have enough ammunition to get payouts from a few different households. Here are just a few common personal injury claims that Santa could file if he wasn't quite so jolly.
Choking Hazard
It's customary on Christmas to leave out a plate of cookies and milk for Santa, as a thank you for bringing out all those nice gifts. However, if the cookies contain nuts, raisins, or are hard to chew (Santa is in a hurry after all), he could end up choking, and could sue for damages. This type of lawsuit is not uncommon. According to one source, nearly 3000 people die annually from choking accidents in restaurants, which are private property, just like a home.
Usually, choking is due to bones being left in meat, or foreign objects making it into the food. This negligence, combined with a lack of emergency response staff, make the owner at least partially responsible for the accident. Because Santa works alone, and everyone insists on being asleep when he comes, there may be no one there to help him if the cookies end up posing a health risk. Also, if Santa has allergies, he can also sue for not being warned about possible allergens in cookies before he consumes them.
Slip And Fall
Even if homeowners are diligent about cleaning sidewalks and driveways, they aren't as concerned about Santa's landing pad: the roof. Because Santa is an expected visitor, preparations should be made for his arrival. An icy, neglected roof means that not only is Santa in danger of a disastrous slip and fall, but his reindeer and property are also likely to be damaged. If Santa were to slip, he could sue because of negligence. In order for the homeowner to be liable for damages, one of the following criteria must be met:
- They must have been aware of the dangerous surface, and still neglected to improve it.
- The homeowner must have fully or partially caused the problem in the first place. For example, if ice builds up on the roof because the roof was not properly repaired, then the ice accumulation is partially the fault of the homeowner.
- The homeowner should have reasonably been aware a problem could exist. For example, if it had been snowing every day for a week, the homeowner should logically know the roof is unsuitable for landing a sleigh, even if he or she had not personally seen the problem.
Because a slip and fall accident from the roof would likely include damages to Santa's sack of toys and sleigh, these amounts would also be included in the proposed settlement drawn up by a personal injury lawyer.
Discriminatory Entrance
With a good lawyer, Santa could also reasonably sue for discrimination. Santa is portrayed as a fat, albeit jolly, man who makes young children happy. However, his primary method of entry into the home-- the chimney-- is quickly becoming phased out in favor of smaller ventilation for gas or oil heating. This makes the home entry point a lot smaller, and will not accommodate Santa's girth like the chimneys of older, wood-burning homes. Another woman filed a similar case against Southwest airlines, because she was told seats were too small for those of her size, and that she must buy a second seat in order to make her trip.
Because people expect Santa to come into their homes, he could argue that preparations for someone with his particular needs were not made.
Slander And Libel
Last, but not least, Santa gets a lot of backlash from religious and progressive communities that call into question his reputation. Defamation of character may be found in online conversations, such as articles comparing Santa to Satan, or blaming him for the commercialization of Christmas and the selfishness of children. Obviously, Santa is not responsible for selfishness in others-- that is their choice. Because this statement is blatantly untrue and clearly hurts Santa's overall reputation with people around the world, it would qualify as slander when spoken and libel when written down.
If Santa ever decides to file a lawsuit, he would surely bring in enough change to keep kids in presents for years to come. With a good personal injury lawyer, he would have all the ammunition he needs to bring some issues to court. If any of these possible lawsuits sound similar to a situation in your own life, you may want to contact an experienced personal injury lawyer in your area to see if you have a case.
